Last time I saw you, you had a ticket in your hand going one way,
You'd put the furniture out on the curb for the Salvation Army to take away.
And you don't call like you used to and I don't write like I should
And now you're telling me life's gotten so I nearly lost you for good.
Well you've been the high notes in my laughter since you've gone
If I'd known now as I waved you goodbye, I'd have flagged that Arntrak and gotten on.
And foolish goals we derided, are my companions well known.
I guess you're finding out your own way life gets lonely alone.

But when the love of our lives has passed away
And our hair has turned silver or blue or gray
Don't forget I'll be calling you
Don't forget we have things to do
Buy us a condo in retirement land
Wear polyester and start up a band
Be every virile older man's savior
Embarrass our kids with imprudent behavior.
And maybe realize our dreams...
You and me, girl, we'll be the Shuffleboard Queens.

Oh the grand lives we mapped out, oh the grand dames we'd be
I never knew how much I leaned on you, 'til I found only me
And I don't call like I used to, nothing much left to say
Cause I don't really have to tell you, I've put my dreams all away
So every wish that runs through you, throughout the years write them down.
And I swear when we get to the other end, we'll do them all before we hit the ground
Oh the good times we'll have then, like the days we once had
So don't you go start doing foolish things like learning good wine from bad

When the love of our lives has passed away
And our hair has turned silver or blue or gray
Don't forget I'll be calling you
Don't forget we have things to do
Buy us a condo in retirement land
Wear polyester and start up a band
Find a nude beach and practice our catcalls
Write feminist poetry and our names on men's stalls
And maybe realize our dreams...
You and me, girl, we'll be the Shuffleboard Queens